this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
