I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
