I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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