So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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