I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
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Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
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I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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