you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
