He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
