you would pick up someone in the library
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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