tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
