dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
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Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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