I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
