If that was your dad, he is hot
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just gargled with NyQuil
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