I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize