I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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