Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize