at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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