Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize