The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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