Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
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She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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