I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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