its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
