This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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