my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
