So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize