Im at strip club and am horny
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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