Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize