I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize