The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
