Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
In America we eat man semen.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
