i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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