This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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