Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
