Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
