Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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