Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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