under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
