Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
