Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
