You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
