the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
