Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
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Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
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You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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