i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
