The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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