we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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