Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
