you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
