Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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