Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
