Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC