Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I fill condoms, not promises.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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