so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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