i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
that's an acceptable place to lick
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
