I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
My ATM looks so different sober.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
