last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
