the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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