yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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