If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
