he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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