ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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