FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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