We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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