She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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