well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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