i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
